


starry: eclipse

by sarangway



Series: starry [5]
Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Light Angst, M/M, Pining, buckle up and get ready to cry a lil, or maybe u wont cry but i did a little, you're in for a ride
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-10 15:29:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8922547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarangway/pseuds/sarangway
Summary: dongmin realizes that he's breaking all his rules when it comes to bin.





	

**summer vacation – saturday, 4pm**

                “Dongmin-oppa, let me take a picture.”

                He leaned in to sip his drink, a smile forming on his face. It didn’t have wrinkles in the corner though, and it didn’t show his teeth – probably because he wasn’t talking to Bin. The girl snapped a picture, her attention turning back to the phone she held. This was very routine of these dates, the girl really just taking a piece of evidence that the date happened. He hadn’t ever minded before this, it was something that he was used to. But after he saw the disappointed looks when Dongmin would return to his apartment to find Bin sitting on the couch, asking where he had been, he had second thoughts.

                It was a late afternoon in a busy café, one that a lot of college students frequented. He never liked going to popular places since seeing other people that he had other dates with was a bit awkward. His eyes shifted between the door and his date, but really, looking at the door was more interesting. After another stir, his head snapped back up to look at the door. The bell above it indicated someone coming in, a laugh that was as light as the bell itself. Three boys entered, one walking in backwards so Dongmin couldn’t see his face. The other two were recognized quickly as Sanha and Minhyuk.

                As if the date wasn’t uncomfortable before, Dongmin could feel the seat sear his skin, his wriggling not alleviating any of his anxiety. It grew worse when he noticed that it was Bin walking in with them, his head ducking to drink his coffee again and cover his face. Their laughter slowly faded as they shuffled up to the counter, whisper amongst themselves before ordering. The girl didn’t notice what he was doing (as expected) so he excused himself to the bathroom to prevent any more awkward situations.

                He entered the bathroom and his stomach lurched, quickly walking into a stall and closing the door. Why did he feel sick so suddenly? Why was he hiding from Bin? This was something that he had done for a year or something, he had never been ashamed about it before. Then again, there was a lot that Dongmin wanted to change about himself once he had gotten closer to Bin. The way he was so isolated, he way he was so absorbed in his looks lately. Every day he was reminded that he meant a lot more than that – when Bin would dismiss people who liked him strictly for his attractiveness. Dongmin’s stomach reeled a second time, causing him to double over the toilet. 

                Dongmin wasn’t sick often, not when he ate vitamins every day, went on runs, and watched what he ate. But he was terrible at stress control, which explained why he was over the café toilet, retching the small meal he ate just twenty minutes before. The door to the bathroom opened, a quiet shuffling interrupting the heaving Dongmin was making. A voice called out a small ‘hello?’ and it was instantly recognized as Bin’s. “I’m-” his response was interrupted by a dry heave, “alright.”

                “Are you sure? Do you need help?” Bin’s hand tapped on the door, causing Dongmin to stand up quickly, spitting and flushing the toilet. His head was spinning now, his brain throwing millions of thoughts at him at once, some connecting to Bin and some connecting to go home. This was overwhelming and he wasn’t sure what to do, but his hands moved to open the stall, finally meeting Bin’s eyes. “Dongmin-ah?”

                His thoughts felt like needles to his head, and he pushed off all of the ones whispering at the idea of maybe even _liking_ Bin, something that he never wanted to think about. A hand moved to his chest, gently pushing him back so Dongmin could make his way back to the sink and wash out his mouth. A shudder ran though his body when he felt how cold it was, but he quickly adjusted his hair and outfit, reapplying his chap stick.

                “Why did you get sick? Are you studying here? Do you want me to take you home?”

                Dongmin turned around, briskly walking to the door and pushing it open. “I’m on a date right now, I’m busy.” With that searing comment and a quickened pulse, Dongmin walked back to his table.

**summer vacation – next saturday, 8pm**

                After a week of avoiding Bin and staying inside, the ramen packets and sneaking to the convenience store was getting old. Dongmin knew what he was doing, but he denied it, the fact that he was childishly dodging Bin just because he knew he started to like him. He had done this many times and that was why he never had a solid partner. Dates were meaningless to him at this point, and so was dating. Being friends after fighting was a lot easier than being friends after breaking up.

                He knew why he was sick now, the stress that he pushed off finally catching up to him. The dark room all the time surely wasn’t helping, but Dongmin would rather be wrapped up in a blanket like a burrito than come face to face with the reason why his preconceived notions about dating were suddenly very wrong. He hated this, the pathetic pining and unnecessary stress. But he knew that if Bin even brushed by him now, it would result in a wave of anxiety and he wouldn’t know what to do.

                A sudden ping from his phone made him adjust his blanket burrito, grabbing his phone and looking for a name to the message. Of course it was Bin, the name he put in reading ‘ur favorite dancer boy, binnie <3’. The times his heart raced a little faster made sense now. The message read that he was coming over in ten minutes, and that no matter if he locked the door or not, he would just use his key. Ah, Dongmin forgot about that key.

                Ten minutes still gave him just enough time to scream into a pillow and burrow himself further into his blanket nest, disshelved hair and dark eyes something he would much prefer to hide. While he was still deciding if locking himself in the bathroom was a good idea, the door lock shifted and Bin walked in, causing Dongmin to cover his face and stay completely still. He knew that Bin would clearly see him, but at least he could imagine he didn’t have to deal with this confrontation. On top of it, he wasn’t even sure what it was about.

                “Dongmin-ah? Oh, you’re under the blanket.” The bed sank as Bin sat down on it, a cold hand snaking under the cover to feel Dongmin’s forehead. He really didn’t want to flinch – he _swears_ – but his body sure did. The movement made Bin growl, his other hand snatching the blanket down to uncover Dongmin’s face. “What’s your problem? You ignore me for a week, and shy away from me touching your forehead? Are you really my Minnie?”

                Dongmin was never _his_ anything, and he would love to clarify that if he didn’t feel Bin’s arms wrap around him. He wiggled out of the embrace quickly, scooting to the other side of the bed. “You aren’t the only thing in my life, I have other things to do.”

                “Other things, huh? Like going on dates that you hate, with people that you hate?” Bin’s eyes narrowed. “They don’t care about you, and they never will.”

                That hurt because of how true Dongmin knew it was. Every person he went on a date with meant nothing to him, and he meant less than nothing to them. Still, it felt horrible to hear even if he had insulted Bin just moments before. A quiet voice replied, “That’s not true.”

                “You know what isn’t true, Dongmin? That you’re too busy for me. If I made you mad, just tell me. I hate starting the day without a text from you. I hate going to sleep not knowing if you’re alright. I hate being away from you.” Bin frowned, his hands moving to Dongmin’s cheeks. They held a steady eye-contact, frowning with a challenging expression, egging the other to either spill the truth or insult more. Dongmin hated fighting, this was why he kept his friends out of his personal life. He didn’t like staring into Bin’s eyes and knowing that he was disappointed in him, he didn’t like being grilled, he didn’t like crying either but the tears just started leaking. “Minnie…”

                “This is a lot for me, Bin-ah. This is a lot – ” Dongmin leaned in, resting his forehead on Bin’s shoulder. “I’m going through a lot.”

                A hand moved to Dongmin’s hair, petting him in an attempt to calm him down. Bin wasn’t the type to tell someone to stop crying, but he wanted to talk to him so he could be relieved of whatever he was going through. “Please, Dongmin-ah, please explain what’s going on.”

                There was no way that he could do that. There was no way that he could ruin a friendship he spent more than half a year building. So he did what he knew best, just burrowing further into his shoulder and crying. Honestly, this was the most comfortable cry he ever had, and he would like to rest like this for as long as needed.

                “We can talk tomorrow. Let’s sleep for now.” Dongmin didn’t want a tomorrow – because tomorrow meant he was completely conscious when he realized that they were sleeping next to each other. He didn’t say no. though, and he wanted to stay safe and away from reality for as long as possible.

**summer vacation – sunday, 8am**

                Dongmin was definitely right, waking up just a few inches from Bin’s face was extremely nerve-wracking. Not only did he feel like he was betraying the younger’s trust by not confessing, he felt like he didn’t deserve to be this close if he was lying. He doesn’t want it to be weird, but he doesn’t want to live in an awkward limbo.

                Bin shifted under the covers, the arm around his waist suddenly noticeable. A yawn made Dongmin focus back on his face, sleepy eyes slowly opening to meet his. They scrunched up with the smile he made, the arm moving to stretch above him. “Good morning.”

                His mind was running too fast, blurting out what came to mind. “How are you today?” _From a lover, not a friend._

“Hmm…I’m alright. Did you sleep well?”

                “Er, yeah. I was ok.” _Will you be mine, from today?_

“That’s good. You were a little hectic yesterday.”

                “Bin-ah. I have something to tell you.” _I’ll confess you by gathering heart._

“Oh? What is it?”

                “I like you.” _Will you be mine, forever?_

**Author's Note:**

> did you survive? are you sad? i hope not!! i had to include some angst since poor dongmin is struggling here. but, he did it!! what will happen next :0 (also YES I QUOTED CONFESSION BECAUSE IT HURT ME AND I ENJOY SUFFERING) (and its shorter than the others but i decided that short and sweet made more sense)  
> check me out at @sarangway and @snowdawon!


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